Friday, September 21, 2007

Is it the Jaguar Shark?

I still hate Jacksonville. Straight up hate those motherfuckers. You know why? January 4, 1997, that's why. Denver was 13-3 during the 1996 season and had sewn up home field throughout the playoffs. They were flat-out the best team in the league that year. So what happened? Jacksonville came in to Mile High and pulled off maybe the biggest upset in the history of the NFL playoffs. It was far and away the worst loss in franchise history (including the blowout Super Bowl losses).

You can pin said loss squarely on the shoulders of two individuals, Woody Paige and Michael Dean Perry.

The day before the game, dipshit fired off an idiotic column that lit a fire under the Jags and pretty much the entire city of Jacksonville. Here's the first paragraph, it goes on in this vein, ripping on the city, the coaches, pretty much everything he could think of:

When did the NFL start letting USFL teams participate in the playoffs? Did I miss something? Or, are the Jags from that goofy World League or the Continental Basketball Association? After the Broncos dispense with these Jagwads today, do they face the Barcelona Bobcats or the Birmingham Power & Light?

Nice job, fucko. Jax players were quoted in various papers and other media outlets as saying that column really pissed them off and it gave them extra motivation for the game. As I recall, ESPN ran a general story on 'bulletin board' material later in the playoffs that year and this column was the main focus.

As for the game, itself. Michael Dean Perry loafed his fat-ass off the field before a critical third down play late in the game (Denver made the stop), but Jax got the 12 men on the field penalty because tubby didn't get off the field fast enough. They subsequently picked up the first down and went on to score the TD that iced it. If you watch the replay, Perry walks from the numbers to the sideline. I mean walk, not walk/jog but strolling, meandering, etc. Fat, lazy bastard. Sam Adams does the same thing and at some point this year it's going to cost us 5 yards.

I hear what you're saying. Herc, that was over a decade ago and the Donks won back-to-back titles the next two years (including beating Jax 42-17 in the '97 playoffs), why are you still pissed? Because fuck you, that's why. Denver should have been back-to-back-to-back SB champs. We would have crushed Green Bay. Every time we've played these clowns since that day, there's a little extra something riding on it for me. When scat (shit) back Quentin Griffin fumbled as Denver was driving for the winning FG in week 2 of '04 I died a little inside.

Win this one for me, fellas. I don't ask for much.


Hallux Valgus said...

ugh. You had to go there. I was at school in Texas at the time, and I had a bet with a girl on who would win the Super Bowl, Dallas or Denver. The loser would have to run around our dorm naked. That weekend we lost to Jax, and they lost to Carolina. Oh and while we're at it- Fuck Natrone Means. Fuck him right in his fuck hole. 140 goddamn yards. Stupid fucking Mark Brunell... GUH! now I'm all worked up.

Commish CH said...

Jax players read that column over the PA system when they landed after that game. Typical Paige column, he's done it pretty much every city or state that any CO team plays. Him and Skip Bayless can go suck it.

Quentin Griffin looks like mini Black Frankenstein too.

TheBIGGUY said...

haha How'd that win go for you yesterday.....Fuck you Go kill yourself bitch..go JAGS

Bird said...

Wow, Jag fans are all class.

Hercules Rockefeller said...

Thanks for chiming in, fuck-wad.