Wednesday, May 30, 2007

I'm Agent Johnson, this is Special Agent Johnson. No relation



I know I'm beating this horse to death over here, but the David Kircus saga keeps getting kookier and kookier.

Shanahan apparently brought in an FBI agent last week to administer a lie detector test to Kircus, and Shanahan says he passed with "flying colors, so he will be a part of our football team." Obviously.

I already pointed out that there was no way Shanny was going to hand Kircus his outright release over this. He got a lot of praise for his earlier comments about Kircus getting released if he didn't "handle himself in the right way" or if he was convicted of the charges. Clearly, that was all blather and bullshit. This polygraph nonsense is a nice little way for the coach to cover his ass. Shanny is now saying that regardless of the outcome of the matter, Kircus will be on the team (you know...if he's good enough to make the final roster, which is not a given by any stretch).

There's even a little poll over at the D-Post asking if people agree w/ Shanny's decision. 46.5% of people chose "yes - Kircus should stay on team if convicted" while a sane thinking 41.8% say "no - Kircus should be booted if he's guilty." I tell you what, if Kircus is convicted, he's going to have much bigger problems than getting kicked off the team. His biggest problem is going to be avoiding the daily anal gang-rapes in the shower.

Shanahan doesn't give two shits about a player's character. If he did, he never would have signed Dale Carter or Daryl Gardner, he never would have drafted Maurice Clarett or Marcus Thomas and he would have cut John Mobley years before the neck injury did him in.

It's hard to blame him for not caring, his job is to win football games. This isn't college. He doesn't get paid to mold young men, but using the results of a widely discredited test to justify your decision to hang on to (lets face it) a mediocre player that may have serious mental problems just plain reeks.

UPDATE: Turns out, Shannny violated federal law (The Employee Polygraph Protection Act of 1988) not only by administering the test, but conditioning Kircus' employment on the results of the test. Good one, coach.

Hat tip to ProFootballTalk via the FanHouse

Friday, May 25, 2007

No, no, not yet. Not until me and Harvey get the rules straightened out.



Orange Bucksnorts is turning into Bob Loblaw's law blog.

Domestic violence and false imprisonment charges against Brandon Marshall were dropped yesterday. Smart move. This was simply a verbal argument that got out of hand. Marshall never hit anyone, and was apparently only trying to get his cell phone back from this woman. Hopefully he can move forward from this and keep a more professional demeanor from here on out, similar to how Rod's progressed from his trumped-up DV matter in 2000.

David Kircus was in court yesterday trying to get the "no alcohol" and "no leaving the state" provision of his TRO lifted or loosened. He'll probably not be allowed to leave the state, but he should get the no alcohol provision lifted. The judge said she had to consult w/ the victim prior to lifting anything, so we'll see. I personally don't give a shit one way or another. I think the no alcohol thing was a little premature and goofy as hell, especially considering that nowhere near all the facts from that night are in.

I should clarify something from a few posts ago, this is NOT Kircus' first legal run-in, he was arrested for DUI while in Detroit. And as someone somewhere pointed out, his brother is currently in prison for murder. Also, Kircus (allegedly) let the guy escort him to the street where Kircus told him that they were then on public property and he "didn't have any rights." Kircus (allegedly) proceeded to smash his face in and (allegedly) told the guy "you don't know what I'm capable of." Sounds like a real peach.

I did notice though, that both Marshall and Kircus are represented by Denver attorney Harvey Steinberg. Steinberg also represented John Mobley for multiple issues and Jake Plummer for his road rage nonsense. Christ, this guy could retire off of fees collected from Donks alone. Criminal defense is certainly not my field, but Mr. Steinberg of Springer & Steinberg, you should be expecting my resume.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Well done, Latrine.



It's official. David Kircus was arrested for 2nd degree assault. Now that's a class 4 felony, and if convicted, he could receive up to 6 years in prison. 6 years! Apparently he beat this dude so badly, the guy required facial surgery. As always, it appears the fight started because of some woman.

Shanahan's playing it down a little bit, saying stuff like:

"You don't know if a guy's defending himself, or the guy punches you, or throws a punch and does hit you" and "I'm going to let the due process take care of itself first and find out exactly what the situation is."

Kircus is more likely to get suspended under the leagues draconian, unfair and likely illegal new unwritten conduct policy than he is getting cut for this. Shanahan only cuts people because they cant get it done on the field, not because they beat the shit out of some dude at a fuckin' party. And I'll tell you what, he shouldn't even get that. I'm not sitting here trying to justify his actions, but arent the illegal new policies put in place for repeat offenders as opposed to first timers like Kircus?

We'll see how the wind blows on this one, but if the league suspends him for this, something needs to be done about der furher, Roger Goodell. The league should not be able to essentially end careers, which any lengthy suspension to Kircus will accomplish nicely, w/out any kind of due process for the players and an absolute joke of an appeals process. Man the fuck up NFLPA, and do it soon or you're going to turn into pre-Curt Flood baseball.



Your daily bitch about the local reporters comes to us today courtesy of Bill Williamson's inane Broncos Mailbag from the D-Post. I'm not linking to it because, fuck him. I'm not the only one who thinks the same way, check out some hate on Williamson here. Here's the offending question and answer:

Q: What does the signing of Brandon Stokley say about Rod Smith's job security? Since Smith, Stokley, Javon Walker and possibly Brandon Marshall won't play special teams this year, could Rod possibly be the odd man out? -- Joel Spencer, Aurora

A: I see Stokley and Smith competing against each other for the No. 3 receiver spot. Both are proven veterans. Both have their best years behind them. Both are coming off debilitating surgeries - Smith to the hip and Stokley to his Achilles.

First one to heal and show during the preseason he's closer to form gets a roster spot. I don't see them both making it.

Walker and Marshall should be the Broncos' top two receivers this year. Smith, Stokley or Domenik Hixon - who has been impressive in minicamp after missing his rookie season with his own injury issues - will be No. 3.


If the Donks decide Brandon Stokley is more important to this team than Rod Fucking Smith, I'll eat my hat. Yours too. And these sweaters and frisbees.

RETRACTION: Uh oh spaghetti-o's. I just realized that Mike Klis took over the mailbag duties from Williamson this week and those are his idiotic words above. I normally like Klis, but sheesh. Williamson still sucks though.

Monday, May 21, 2007

I realize that you and I have gotten off to a rather shaky start. But things don't have to stay that way. What do you say?



Injuries and (pending) arrests. Great way to kick off the season, eh?

Jay Cutler's bestest buddy in the whole world Tony Scheffler broke his ankle last Thursday. He'll have surgery today and is out for 2 months. They're expecting him back by the start of training camp, so he should be ok. But for his sake, he better make sure this doesn't linger and he's in camp at full strength. Shanahan won't hesitate to dump his ass on the IR if he feels he's not going to contribute this year, especially w/ Dan Graham now in the fold.

In much more bizarre news, David "Subway" Kircus is the subject of an assault investigation by the Arapahoe County Sheriff's Department. The alleged victim suffered "multiple broken facial bones". Ouch. Kircus was supposed to appear in a photo-lineup over the weekend. If he is identified as the attacker, charges are sure to be filed. If you were ranking guys on the team based on the likelihood that they would wind up a subject of an assault investigation, Circus has to be near the bottom of the list. I mean, look at this guy:




I might be able to kick his ass.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

We're going to get fired up about the real things, the things that matter!




Finally. It's about damn time, frankly. There's nothing worse than the couple of months between the draft and the start of training camp. Since the Nugs and the Warriors have been eliminated, I could care less about the NBA. The inevitable Spurs-Pistons finals will do wonders in terms of setting basketball back a decade. May baseball is......May baseball. Other than the die-hards and the roto psychos, does anyone care about baseball in May? Wake me up in September. Plus, the local nine is kind of a walking joke.

So, it's welcome news that the first of the Bronco's OTA's started on Tuesday. Hallelulah. Actual practicing of football. Here's some quick tid-bits on what's been going on:


Up top there is the decal the team will be wearing next year to honor Darrent and Damien. There's an excellent piece by Lee Raiszer over at the RMN about how the team will deal with the loss of two guys and about how teams in the past have dealt w/ these types of tragedies (both positively and negatively). I think they have the right coach and enough veteran leadership on both sides of the ball, even with Al being gone, to be able to keep their minds right.


Brandon Marshall talked for the first time about his domestic violence arrest a couple months ago. Here's what he had to say:

I'm not a thug, I'm not a gangster"

There's a shit load more to this quote, but I like cutting it off right there. It's funnier that way. He did dodge the questions about being with both Darrent and Damien on the day they died though, stating:

"Football is one of the things for us that we can get away from all that"

Football questions only goddammit!


Jay Cutler appears to have a nice rapport with Mike Hiemerdinger, the "Assistant Head Coach-Offense" titled employee (Is there any other team in the league where the "Assistant Head Coach-Offense" and the "Assistant Head Coach-Defense" are positions higher than "Offensive Coordinator" and "Defensive Coordinator"? I don't think so. It's a really odd way to structure your staff). Thanks to his laser rocket arm, apparently the playbook will now feature more passing plays from the Elway era. Last year, Denver ran the ball on 3rd and 3 or more than any other team in the league. If you throw in all the WR screens we ran that technically count as passes, it really shows just how far Plummer slipped in Shanny's eyes from one season to the next. I hope the page in the playbook with all the WR screens gets ripped out of the binder and set of fire.


Here's that drunk, dipshit Kiszla not putting any pressure on the kid at all. The countdown to his inevitable "This kid sucks, bench him...oh, and fire Shanahan too." column begins now.

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Some moron brought a cougar to a party and it went berserk




Nice to see Woody Paige, my second least favorite sports writer here in Denver (Kiszla, I'm looking at you), back firing off idiotic columns. Here's his latest masterpiece about how the Donks should immediately sign Keyshawn Johnson, because apparently he's the missing piece to the championship puzzle. If you're like me, you really don't want to click that link, so I'll save you the grief and just list a couple of his more nonsensical quotes here:

Mike Shanahan has utilized empty backfield, five-receiver sets in the past. Imagine Walker, Smith, Johnson, Marshall and Stokley on the field on the same play. Or consider Walker, Smith and Johnson in the game at the same time.

Now, I've been following this team very closely since the mid '80's or so, and I may be wrong on this, but I don't recall EVER seeing a 5 receiver set in a Shanahan offense. In fact, I can barely recall 4 receiver sets. If you see a four guys lined up as receivers in a certain formation, you can bet your sweet ass at least one of them is a TE split wide.

Johnson is exactly the man of experience the Broncos need to join their receiving corps.

Right, we're seriously thin at experienced receivers. Javon, Rod and Art Donovan's bastard child aren't experienced enough for ya? We'll keep 5, maybe 6 receivers on the active roster max, how many of those guys really need to be on the wrong side of 30? Woods finishes up with this gem:

Just give him the dadgum contract.

Typical Paige ass-clownery. I don't see why people in this town love this guy. They welcomed him back with open arms after his disastrous "Cold Pizza" stint...unbelievable. Yeah he's a homer, but these guys are supposed to be homers. No one wants to read a columnist who just rips on the team in every column he hands in (which is exactly why Kiszla is #1 on my hated columnist list - nothing but negativity from that drunk shit head). Woody should have been strung up or run out of town after his "Jagwads" column leading up to the Jacksonville game during the '96 playoffs. A column that several Jax players mentioned in their post game interviews as motivation for the biggest upset Denver's ever been on the losing end of.

Go back to New York, Woody. Please?

Thursday, May 3, 2007

You are a total nutcase, completely deranged, delusional, paranoid. Your thought process is all fucked up. Your information train is jammed, man!



Earlier this week, the Donks signed Selvin Young, a little-used backup running back from Texas, as an undrafted free agent. I'm sure Selvin Young could potentially develop into a nice little player, but this quote from his agent, Major Adams is complete horseshit:

"We picked Denver because the Broncos showed the most interest."

Are you serious? The fact that Denver has had the best running game in the league over the last decade didn't have anything to do with it? The fact that Denver has had the best offensive line in the league over that same span didn't have anything to do with it? The fact that Shanny has no problems whatsoever with handing the reins over to an undrafted rookie didn't have anything to do with it? Get real, Private.

There's a reason your guy went undrafted, no one in the league thought he was worth even a measly 7th round pick. You should get down on your hands and knees and thank the flying spaghetti monster that your client is a part of this team.

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

I don't throw darts at a board. I bet on sure things.



Just a few quick thoughts on the draft. I took the day off yesterday and I'm getting hammered trying to catch up. It wasn't a great couple of days for the Donks. They picked a total of 4 players. That’s right, a big 4. They addressed their need along the D-Line....and that's about it. They did grab an O-Lineman in round 3, but sandwiched that pick around 3 D-Lineman.

They swapped 1st rounders w/ Jax (and gave up a 3rd and a 6th rd pick) to move up 4!!!! slots to grab Florida DE Jarvis Moss. An utterly pointless move, he would have been there at 21. Not one D-lineman was taken between 18 and 20 and a D-Lineman wasn't selected again until 26. You could make a case that Denver could have traded DOWN and still got Moss. The pick itself....eh. Moss is a character risk (suspended for one game last year after a positive marijuana test). He's not exactly huge, and we've already got some decent edge speed rushers (Elvis, Kenard Lang, etc.). I thought we were looking for some bulk in that slot.

Texas DE Tim Crowder went in the second round. I don't know anything about him. At least we didn't give up the farm to get him.

The 'Skins third round pick belonged to us, so we swiped Notre Dame OT Ryan Harris. Again, I don't know anything about the kid, but he's got the size we need for our zone-blocking scheme (Foster was a big fat mess). Denver brings O-Linemen along very slowly, so don't expect to see him on the field for at least a year, likely two.

The fourth round is where it gets weird. Denver didn't have a 4th or a 5th round pick, so Shanny traded away our 6th and 7th round picks, plus a 3rd rounder next year to Minnesota to move up into the 4th and grab certified ass-clown Marcus Thomas a DT from Florida. Last year Thomas was suspended for Florida's last half dozen or so games because he reportedly failed several drug tests. He was suspended, reinstated then kicked off the team (a national championship team to boot). Great. The price for this guy may have been a little steep.

Pretty mediocre draft all in all. I can't believe he didn't at least take one safety.

Memo to ESPN: If you're going to run stupid-ass crawls along the bottom and sides of the screen (and shrink the HD picture I paid thousands for into about 1/3rd of it's regular size). You could at least give us the details on second day trades instead of running Kiper's 'best available' every 30 seconds (although it was funny to see Mason Crosby's ass up there as 'best available' for nearly 2 full rounds. Good call Kiper, only 2 kickers were picked ahead of Crosby (Kiper had him as the 52nd best player in the draft.)