Man, you are one pathetic loser. No offense.

Normally, I hate the bye week. It sucks to have to sit around and wait two weeks to watch your team play. Normally. This year, the bye can't come fast enough. The Donks are mired ass-deep in a giant puddle of fail. They desperately need this week to focus on what needs to happen to turn the season around...and to save me from having to off myself before the end of October.

It gets worse too! Tommy Nails and TE Nate Jackson are done for the year. Nails we all know about: Should be a HOF'er (probably not), anchor of the O-Line, heart and soul of the offense, etc., etc. Jackson is a key loss because Scheffler has been slow to recover from his broken foot and has been generally sucking balls out there so far.

There's a lot of talk about firing Shanahan, firing Bates, firing Scott O'Brien, firing Sundquist, firing Heimerdinger, firing Slowik, hell, firing everyone. There was even a "Fire Thunder" thread on one of the message boards. Funny stuff. None of it will happen probably. I personally am ready to declare Jim Bates a failure, but that's just me. I can see the arguments for firing Shanahan, but he's written his own ticket w/ Bowlen. Shanny will go when he says it's time. I don't anticipate any coaching changes until the end of the year.

Let's also not forget legendary knuckle-head Travis Henry. He's fucked...right in the pants. His case is going to get tossed. His grounds are pointless and his motions frivolous. He has no chance. All the talk about lie detector tests and submitting his hair follicles for testing is ridiculous and irrelevant. What's in question is his urine sample - the one that says he failed. That's it. That test is the decider. No offers of hair and/or polygraph testing will be accepted, nor should they. They're kind of silly and they're clearly a last ditch effort on Henry's part. Sorry brah, the case is going to stay in federal court, the NFL's Motion to Dismiss will be granted, the NFL's attorneys will get their costs and fees paid by you and you will be suspended for one year. I think he'll play in the next two games before it's all said and done, but we need to prepare for the Selvin Young era right now.

So yeah, life sucks 'round here. The only thing saving the town from countless assaults and murder- suicides has been the Rockies. If they had missed the playoffs this town would be chaos right now.

Bye week. Best week of the season so far.