Monday, July 28, 2008

Imagine Jim Armstrong sharing all the world

I take back everything bad I've ever said about Woody Paige or Mark Kiszla. Jim Armstrong has taken everything to a completely different level. In his latest piece (of shit) for the Post, he ponders a "what if" kind of scenario involving everyone's least favorite legacy-ruining QB, Britt Favruh. Imagine:

Jake Plummer just finished his fifth season of mediocrity in Our Town.

Biff Plummer mediocred his way to a 72% winning percentage and an AFC Championship game.

Imagine Jay Cutler hadn't dropped to the No. 11 pick in the 2006 draft, enabling the Broncos to trade up to grab him.

Imagine Plummer's baggage piled higher with each passing year. Imagine Jake the Snake as the Broncos' starting quarterback in 2008 because, as was the case when they signed him, they couldn't find a better alternative.

Jake Plummer was good, goddammit. What the hell is the matter with people? I watched these games and I know a little bit about football. I mean...I'm not a complete moron. I know I didn't have the orange blinders on for Jake. You may have noticed that I can be pretty critical of the team when they deserve it.

I just don't see how a guy gets a rep as a shitty QB because his D got annihilated by the best offense in the league in the playoffs in back to back years.

Yeah, you could do without the left-handed interceptions and flipping off the crowd, but sheesh, we won both of those games. What's the problem? Herm Edwards says you play to win the game and I think he's right. He's a shitty head coach, but he's right.

Now for something you don't have to imagine: Brett Favre is available, and the Packers would like to trade him to an AFC team.

If the circumstances were different - if the Broncos, like a lot of other teams out there, were desperate for a quarterback - Mike Shanahan would be on the phone as we speak. This is, after all, the coach who tried to lure Steve Young out of retirement before the Broncos signed Plummer.

Remember that the next time you flip your eyes when the latest Favre update crosses your TV screen. This isn't a big story, but only because this is Denver, not New York or some other NFL city in search of a legitimate quarterback.

Just think. If Cutler hadn't come along, the Broncos could be the Jets.

This is so preposterous and looney and involves so many crazy ass variables that I don't really need to add any commentary to it. The insanity just oozes from the screen. Suffice it to say, any scenario that involves Brett Favre in a Broncos uniform, no matter how absurd or nonsensical it is, makes me want to hang myself.


Garrett Barnes said...

I know! That article made me so mad! But if that makes you angry look at this article.

Hercules Rockefeller said...

That shit patently retarded. The commenters killed him for it and his comeback is "How many playoff games has Jay Cutler won?"

That guy probably draws a paycheck for that shit, too.

Hercules Rockefeller said...

there's supposed to be an "is" in there somewhere.

Lets see if you can figure out where it goes.