Monday, December 1, 2008

New Jack City

Hey, hey! How 'bout them Donks? Here's the GBU from the 34-17 pasting the local 11 laid on the Jet Favres.

Jay Cutler. The ultimate boom or bust QB. Yesterday he boomed all over everyone's faces to the tune of a 63% completion rate, 357 yards and 2 TD's. The pick in the endzone was the one mistake he made yesterday.

Peyton Hillis. He ran like a beast and ALWAYS had two hands on the ball at contact (it looks like that goal line fumble last week knocked some sense into him on that score). Look, this guy isn't the long term answer at RB, but he's filled in admirably since he was pressed into duty. He can thank the next guy on this list for his impressive game yesterday.

Casey Wiegmann. He got blown up once by the Jets all-world NT Kris Jenkins and that's it. He dominated Jenkem for the rest of the game and opened up holes big enough for a white RB with 4.7 speed to blast through untouched.

Whoever had the idea of faking an injury every time the Jets tried to run no-huddle. It was hilarious.

Kevin Harlan. Yep. Once again, Harlan is the best pre-snap play by play guy in the league. Love, love that guy. I hope he gets every Donk game the rest of the way. Hey CBS, take Jim Nantz and shove him up your ass. Harlan blows him away.


Brandon Marshall. Drops WAY too many passes to be considered one of the elite wideouts in the game.

Vernon Fox. Fumble recoveries are pure luck, so he gets no credit for that crazy ass return TD. He was so far out of position on that first Thomas Jones TD run it was comically funny. He was providing help over the top on the lone wideout on that play and didn't realize it was a running play to the other side until Jones was 15 yards downfield. Looks like we'll be starting our fifteenth different FS this weekend.

Eric Mangini. How fucking brainless was it to pass on 3rd and 1 and then again on 4th and 1 early in the 4th? Very. The game was essentially over after that. Also, why go for it on that 4th and goal late? You're down're going to need three at some point. You kick the FG and try the onside in that situation, right? Just a bungled game all around from Mangini.


The punting game. Hard to fault Kern for that since the wind was whipping like crazy, but I need something for this section and the gum smacking, IROC driving, big hair wearing Jersey skanks calling themselves Jets fans aren't enough.

So. Like I said, the schizophrenia continues. We pound up on teams that should beat us and we get our asses handed to us (at home) against dog-shit opponents. This might be the weirdest Donks team I've ever seen.

Unless SD wins out and we lose out, the division (and a home playoff game) is ours. Chew on that for a little while.


Commish CH said...

Harlan- good. His partner Gannon- pretty bad. Gannon it's "athletic" not "athel-let-tic"

And the Refs had a crappy game. They looked completely disinterested.

Phony Gwynn said...

Since I was at the game, freezing my nards off, I will say this: the kicking game was as good as could be hoped for in that weather. It was miserable. But not bad enough for half the stadium to leave at halftime. What a bunch of pussies.

Oh, and I had to watch the game for work the next day, and I could NOT believe how bad Gannon is. He mumbles shit like "Wow!" or "Oooh!" during the play while Harlan is talking. What a disgrace for someone that talented to be paired with such an idiot like Gannon.

Hercules Rockefeller said...

Agreed w/ both of you.

Gannon is worthless.

Hercules Rockefeller said...
This comment has been removed by the author.