This Week in One Picture - Preseason Week 2

Reggie Rivers. I'm not prone to hyperbole, but Reggie Rivers is, bar-none, the absolute worst NFL analyst ever. EVER. No one's even close. Hate on Maguire, Kornheiser, Siragusa, et al. all you want, every single one of them is light years better than Reggie.

You'd need a team of mathematicians and theoretical physicists, all of them with their TI-81's blazing to calculate the number of factual mistakes and brain-damaged analytical misreads that Reggie makes in a game. It's staggering.

If I were to type up the list of Reggie's fuck-ups I made while I was watching the game on Sunday, the internet would explode, but here are a couple of examples:

1) He harped on for several plays how Coach Dipshit still hadn't let Brandstater throw a pass yet, when Tommy B's very first play was a little swing.

2) He ripped on how the Donks lined up in a running formation and then ran the ball on four straight series opening plays, then when the Donks lined up in the EXACT SAME FORMATION, said "Broncos may throw out of this."

3) He said Texas had the trademark on the phrase "The 12th Man."

4) Jaws, this guy aint. I'm pretty sure I can read and break down film better than Reggie. He verbally fellated Peyton Hillis for a stiffarm on former Donk LB D.D. Lewis, when Lewis had already been tripped up and was falling to the ground. "What a good job by Peyton!" Jesus.

Do me a favor Reggie and go back to PBS.