Monday, June 4, 2007

I'll take the chubby fat-ass there. Fifth from the front. Put me down for a quarter deck

After failing to convince "Big Fatty" Dan Wilkinson to report to the squad a couple months ago, the Donks decided to sign an even bigger and older tub of goo, Sam Adams. Adams is friggin' massive, going 6'4", 350 lbs. 350!! He makes Dan Wilkinson look like Webster.

I know these are the types of interior D-Linemen that Jim Bates loves, but sheesh, 350 lbs? These fat bastards are almost always winded and worthless in the fourth quarter. Run a few plays away from them, make them chase, and Greek needs to start worrying about heart attacks and the like.

Since Denver's essentially ripping off Baltimore's D from 2000 (get 2 tubby space-clogging interior D lineman that will draw a minimum of 3 O-Lineman every play and free up space for your quick LB's to make plays), who better to get than Sam Adams, one of the tubs from that '00 team? You know...since Siragusa is now polluting the airwaves every Sunday. Only problems with that are a) Adams is 7 years older now and b) we stupidly cut our Ray Lewis.

I'm not a big fan of this move


Hallux Valgus said...

Obviously, this Sam Adams news is absolutely tearing up the Broncoweb.

Signal to Noise said...

Great. Another fat fuck that can't get to the passer and is probably too old to tackle a rusher.

Commish CH said...

What would everyone rather have? A 350 pound Sam Adams or 350 Sam Adams Lagers? From the sounds of these mean 'net streets, it's the latter.