Thursday, June 21, 2007

That's my business. That's what I do.




I'm officially out of ideas. Training camp kicks off in about a month or so, and there's quite the dearth of news on the 'ol ball club. Even with all the boredom, I still cant bring myself to argue with the knuckleheads over on the Broncos.com message board. I've decided instead to fire off some links and lay the hammer down on national reporters talkin' shit bout the squad.

First up is Joe Theezman's (I'm sure you're all aware of this, but that clown actually changed the pronunciation of his name so it would rhyme with Heisman) take on the 5 best teams in the AFC. No real complaints here (he's got our boys at 4), but I'd rather have someone with some, you know...credibility say it. Plus...the fuckin' Chargers are insanely overrated. They weren't that good last year either. They were wildly lucky. Seriously. They somehow won what, three games after being down 2 TD's in the second half? That's luck, plain and simple. They're not going to even sniff 14 wins. In fact...I'll go out on a limb and say SD doesn't even make the playoffs next year. Book it.

Andrew Perloff over at SI.com put together a list of the 10 most dysfunctional offseasons this year. Apparently having one of your players get shot in the neck and die and another dying of an un-before diagnosed heart condition isn't enough to make the list. SD rears it's stupid, bolt covered, ugly head again here, nabbing Perloff's top spot. Yeah, a coaching change is way more dysfunctional than death. Don't get me wrong, this really isn't a list you want to be a part of, but still....

A lot has been said about Peter King on the old intertubes here, most of it justified. On Monday he gave us his complete QB rankings. Cut comes in at 10. Somehow Jon Kitna is 9. Yes, the same Jon Kitna that has been released from about half the teams in the league. And the same Jon Kitna that is currently underthrowing his wideouts for the second most pathetic franchise in the league *cough* Oakland *cough*. King's justification: Mike Martz's offenses are usually pretty good! Oh, I see...makes perfect sense now. In other hilarious news, Brodie Croyle came in dead last.

The four letter has also been running the "Ultimate Depth Chart" for each division. This is the fucker that pisses me off. They get a panel of "experts" to list the best offenses, defenses and overall teams in each division. To ESPN, "expert" means brain dead ex-ballplayer, so it shouldn't surprise you that the "experts" chosen are Merril Hoge, Mark Schelereth and our old pal Joey Theezman. Birdy-leg does pick Denver as the best offense in the division, but otherwise, its a Charger sweep. Overrated! Overrated! 9-7!

Speaking of overrated, Pete Prisco compiled a list of overrated and underrated players on each team. He's got DT, Gerard Warren as the overrated and Orignal Gangsta, Ben Hamilton as underrated. Gerard's an ok choice, his play hasn't been as good as his contract would suggest it should be, but how can you miss the obvious? Who is the most overrated Bronco you ask? It's not even close

3 comments:

old no. 7 said...

One hundred per cent spot on. Nothing to write about (I'm hoping someone gets a DUI soon or I'm going to lose it). Theezman blows. The Chargers ARE overrated and lucky and ripe for a fall. Good stuff.

bankmeister said...

DUI would be good. Felony assault-rifle-arsenal charges would be better. Ka-pow.

Hallux Valgus said...

To be fair, Prisco did list Lynch as the guy who could be the most overrated every year. I don't get Warren. I thought you had to be at least "rated" to be overrated.