Tuesday, June 12, 2007
There's nothing going on. That's what I saw when I looked out over the city: nothing.
There's nothing happening here in Broncotown. Nothing at all. I have no idea what to write about, so instead I'm going to bitch and moan about a couple of things.
At the firm I work for, we have this program where we pay a portion of a few inner-city HS kids tuitions to a private school, and in return they have to come work for us one day a week, to get “real life work experience” or some such shit. Anyway, one of the girls in the program wants to go on a class trip to DC this summer, but she cant afford the cost, so she solicited donations from the people here. She was able to raise almost the entire cost of the program (I gave her $50).
As a reward for everyone that donated, one of the partners here sent around an insanely hard NFL general knowledge quiz. First and only prize was two club level tickets to the 8/30 preseason game against the Cards. Normally I wouldn't give two shits about a preseason game, but club level is a different story. Two club level tickets go for well over $500. They bring you your food and drinks, you can go inside if it's too hot or cold or whatever. Rumor has it they even hold your schlongus for you when you take a leak. Just quality service all around.
So I fill out the quiz, ace it (I found the website he got his questions from) and sit back dreaming about that hands free piss. Well apparently two other people also found the site, so the tie breaker was a rock-paper-scissors showdown in one of the conference rooms. After opening up with the bureaucrat gambit (three consecutive papers) and jumping to a big lead, I lost several rounds in a row, fell behind and wound up coming in a close second. Massively disappointing.
I was pretty motherfuckin’ geeked for the next installment in the Die Hard series. Now, not so much. The thing is, the motherfucker is rated PG-13. It seems like since the motherfuckers recently decided to crack down on letting younger kids into R rated flicks, almost every motherfuckin’ movie is now rated PG-13. I can understand that, but, damn motherfucker, Die Hard? Motherfuckin’ PG-13? What the motherfuckin’ fuck, motherfucker? John McClane's foul motherfuckin’ mouth is an essential part of what makes those motherfuckin’ movies great. It's not Die Hard if the motherfucker doesn't say "yipee ki yay, motherfucker" and w/ a PG-13 tag, you wont get a single motherfucker. Motherfuckin’ disappointing.
I suggest you go out right now and rent or add to your queue or whatever "This Film is Not Yet Rated," Kirby Dick's brilliant movie about the MPAA's joke of a ratings process.