Fascinating. Semi, look at this. America is great indeed. Imagine a country so free, you can throw out broken glass on the streets

A couple of months ago I joined the ranks of motorist. After 3 years in SF and another 4 here in the D-Town being a pedestrian and a guy that bums rides from everyone and begs their little sister to borrow her car when he needs to go to the grocery store, I couldn't take it anymore. I broke down and purchased a nine year old Honda Accord from one of John's old dealerships.

Less than a week ago, I got a set of the freakin' sweet ass plates you see above. That may have been a mistake.

This morning I walked out of my palatial one-bedroom apartment near downtown, punched the alarm key and got the terror inducing four beeps instead of the usual two. I walked around the car only to discover a fucking smashed out window on the passenger side.

After I got the plates, I emailed a friend of mine who lives in Oakland (and for some unexplainable reason is a Raiders fan) and got this response:

I'm always on the lookout for those things so I can toss lit ciggy butts at them as I speed away Raiders style.

Obviously she was joking, she's actually a very nice person (the exception to the rule for Raiders fans), but I'm convinced that the nitwit assclown that busted out my window was some angry Raiders or Chiefs fan. They're clearly jealous over the local franchises recent on-field success and the bounty which has been granted upon us this offseason.

So anyway, I'm out about $250 and the next time I see a Raiders decal or a Chiefs license plate holder it's smashy smashy time. I think I've earned it.