Wednesday, August 8, 2007

The first two were high and tight, so where do you think the next one's gonna be?

Quick thoughts on a few training camp matters:

New Bronco Daniel Graham can catch the football. In fact he caught the ol' pigskin 38 times back in 2002. Wow, 38 whole catches in one year? Last year he had the also impressive number of 21 catches! 21! On a team whose main receiving threat was Cocaine-Eyes Caldwell. I don't want to hate on Daniel Graham, but if you're not getting receptions (regardless of the "emergence" of Ben Watson) in that line-up, you're not getting them here. I wasn't really pleased with this signing when it went down. I thought it was silly to give $6M a year to a blocking TE, especially when we already had one of the top 5 or so blocking TE's in the league on our roster. If Cutler's BFF Tony Scheffler is ready to go by opening day and can stay healthy, look for Graham to approach that magical 20 reception mark again.

Don't get me wrong, it's a good thing Jarvis Moss wasn't seriously hurt. Nobody wants to see their first round pick out for the year with a shredded knee, but the doomsayers were out of their minds with their takes on what would become of the D-Line if he had suffered a major injury. Here's my favorite bit of insanity, courtesy of someone named Khan, who was at the practice when Moss went down, over at (via Bronco Talk):

After he was gone we really only got pressure up the middle. It will be more of the same this year without him: No pass rush.

Sheesh, buddy. I'll let Tom Symkowski sum it up: "You see, it would be this mat that you would put on the floor, and it would have different conclusions written on it that you could jump to."

Finally, Dove Valley is apparently infested with birds of prey and raccoons:

No one is characterizing it as a problem, but Broncos officials are monitoring the number of hawks and raccoons that have recently infiltrated Dove Valley.

Luckily, the creatures have demonstrated aversions to crowds, so they've stayed away from the workout sessions, although a raccoon was seen scooting around the trees near the south end zones as the afternoon practice commenced.

The week before camp started, a nest of baby hawks got aggressive and occasionally swooped down on an unsuspecting field worker, but no injuries were reported.

"It's actually been great for us because it's helped us with our rabbit population," said Chip Conway, the team's vice president of operations

He's dead-on about the rabbits. There are millions of those little hippity-hoppity fuckers running around the southeast metro-area. One time last year, I saw a rabbit fighting a squirrel for a piece of bread. I didn't think rabbits even ate bread. Watch out for raccoons, too. They'll bust into your house and eat all your cat food and maybe your cat. Oh, and once a dipshit handyman capped a raccoon family in the chimney of our house, with decidedly un-sexy results (flies, maggots, a rotting corpse stink of death). I know all that's off topic, but kiss my ass.


Kyle said...

Awesome Office Space allusion!


The Sports Hernia said...

Cocaine-Eyes Caldwell at your service:

Proof that pictures say 1,000 words