Friday, July 11, 2008

American Century - Day 1. Cut. Dead. Last.

Tough day for the local heroes in Tahoe. Jeremy Roenick is atop the leaderboard and Brett Hull, Pierre Larouche, Rick Rhoden and Mark Rypien round out the top five. I forgot to include Rypien in the favorites, but he definitely is one.

The Legend sits tied with Dale Jarett, Kenny Lofton, Vinny Testaverde and someone named Lucas Black for 30th. Not a bunch of names you want to be associated with. Listen to some of these names ahead of John: Lawrence Taylor? Ben Wafflebooger? Wally Fucking Sczerbiak? Even Chris Chandler was able to extract a very small measure of revenge for SB XXXIII. All of them are going down. You know John's a Sunday guy.

The Coach is 55th, and one shot behind MJ. What the hell happened to his game? He hits every shot with a giant stogie in his mouth like he's a mobster or something. Also, that lame joke yesterday about Jordan and his million dollar Nassau would have been much better had I realized that Janet Gretzky was playing. She is. She's currently tied with her husband and one shot back of Shanahan.

The real story though, is The Quarterback sitting in dead last. Yeah. Last. Kevin Nealon and Charles Barkley are playing in this tournament and Cut is in last place. Here's Charles Barkley swinging a golf club:

Cutler is apparently worse than that. I know everyone can have a bad day, and I really hope that's the case here. So here's to Cut making a couple of pars (he had none today) and climbing out of the cellar. There's no way he finishes behind Barkley when it's all said and done. No way.

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