Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Hard Knocks was not epic - UPDATE
Disappointing night from HBO. I know the show is about the fucking Cowboys, but almost the entire episode was about the Denver trip and you get to hear exactly two Broncos speak. Eddie Royal (the only thing he says is "awww, man") and Brett Fucking Pierce. Brett Pierce. Seriously. Brett Pierce.
Here are some quick hits on the show (I'm basically posting my notes):
Jerry Jones sits in on coaches meetings. Doesn't this guy have a billion-dollar empire to run? Talk about a meddling owner. You thought Dan Snyder was bad? He's probably not interrupting DB coaches meetings with his thoughts on how well a guy tackles.
An incredibly gay montage featuring the Dallas strength coach. Homo-riffic!
Peter King and Jerry Jones stuffing their faces with popcorn. There's an inexplicable close up of King chowing down. Maybe the worst 45 seconds of TV I've ever seen. UPDATE: KSK has video and just destroys this.
Dave Campo is kind of a clown.
Nice background shots of Denver.
Tony Romo: "Denver's just another tool for us." Someone here is a tool Tony, and it ain't Denver.
More Romo: "I suck" (repeatedly) and "I'm frickin average." Yes, you do and you are.
Obligatory elevation montage. I cant breathe. Trying to catch my breath. Breathe me. Campo actually has wisdom on the subject.
The aforementioned Brett Pierce discussion revolved around how Demarcus Ware "dominates practice." The joke is about how trying to block him is like putting your hand on a little kid's head and holding him off while he's swinging at you. Pretty good, but have that damn discussion with someone important.
Seriously, does Jerry Jones have anything else to do?
Nice montage of Pacman getting abused by Cliff Russell and a couple of other guys.
Dallas' D coordinator uses phrase "'posed to be." "You're out of position...you're posed to be over there." Terrible.
A lot of whining and complaining from the Boys about how Denver is hitting too hard. Awww...poor bitches.
Felix Jones got leveled by somebody. Roy Williams is now actively trying to ruin people's knees. Fight's a comin'. Horse collar just predicted it.
Footage of the fight is pretty shitty. Nothing you haven't already seen, but I swear it looks like Flozell is trying to brain Marcus Thomas with his helmet. Everyone says it's not as bad as it looked, but fuck that.
Tank Johnson is completely crazy.
The game footage is all about how Denver kicked their ass early, how Miles Austin got hurt and how a bunch of young kids finally got into the game.
All in all, watching this as a Broncos fan was a waste of time.