Friday, January 9, 2009

Broncos coaching search takes a turn for the surreal

The most recently named Broncos head coach candidate sure is a doozy. It's a completely insane idea that actually made me laugh out loud when I read it.

That's right. It's everyone's favorite face-spitting, steroid abusing, teammate sucker-punching former Donk LB. The one and only Bill Romanowski.

He said he sent Broncos owner Pat Bowlen a lengthy PowerPoint presentation touting his credentials and outlining the fresh ideas he would bring to the job that Mike Shanahan held for 14 seasons before his stunning dismissal last week

Visual aids!

"For Pat to do something like this, it would take him being a visionary, thinking outside the box," said Romanowski, whose coaching experience includes helping with his son's football team.

That's a stunning resume there.

In his more than 30-page presentation that he zipped off to Bowlen, Romanowski outlined how he’d run things if he were in charge. He would hire a new defensive staff and revamp the player personnel department, analyzing the college scouting system in a new way, he said.

30 pages? That seems like a lot of work to put into a complete fucking fantasy.

Romanowski would also hire a full-time nutritionist and recruit some of the world’s elite strength and conditioning coaches, he said.

Yeah, this is really the guy you want running your strength program.

"I truly believe that I'd be the best person in the country for the job. That's me being confident in my abilities,"

Whoa. That sounds like a pretty serious quote. I don't think he's joking around about this.

Fortunately, the Broncos aren't buying any of this roided-up freak's nonsense:

The Broncos had no comment on Romanowski’s interest in the coaching vacancy.

I guess that's more polite than laughing the reporter off the phone.

While the thought of Romo prowling the sidelines, spitting on people and sucker-punching assistant coaches is completely awesome, this will never happen. Romo's last stab at relevance made for some good early morning laughs though. So for that, I thank you, Billy-Bob.


Bird said...

I would kill to see that power point. I hope to god it gets leaked.

Garrett Barnes said...

haha I cracked up when I read this. I agree with Bird I need to see this powerpoint.