Monday, January 12, 2009

Coach Sugar Smacks

The new coach has a particular personal trait that I find to be quite distasteful. He's a smacker. A lip smacker.

I'd like to thank Bill Belichick. **smack** I can't **smack** express in words how much he means to me **smack**...
You get the idea. It's disgusting and very irritating.

Also, the guy looks like he's 15 and his moms cuts his hair (not unlike his new QB). That's not necessarily bad, it's just not exactly confidence inspiring. Luckily we have one of the youngest teams in the league, so the "what does this kid know?" kind of crap should be kept to a minimum.

Courtesy of the monumentally retarded Drew Soicher: McDaniels is the youngest head coach in any of the "big 4" sports. Sorry, that should be "big 3 and hockey."

Some other news from the presser earlier today:

A long-overdue switch to a 3-4 . Look for Elvis and Jarvis Moss to move to OLB's, leaving Nate Webster's helmet pounding the pavement for a job.

Nothing on the D-coordinator. Everyone was wrong, the D-Post, the RMN, whoever floated the McDermott rumor, Schefter, everyone. Morons, the lot of them. He's "talked" to Nolan, but nothing is official.

He's planning on wearing a hoodie. Just like his boy, Belichick.

He's also taking over the play-calling. Meaning Jeremy Bates is probably out. Meaning Rick Dennison is definitely out. Meaning the zone-blocking scheme that we've run for 15 years is probably out.

A lot of stuff we're used to seeing is probably out. Crazy times, man. Cra-zee.


Munpe Q said...

Stick to what you know (duck decoys and cappuccino) and leave out all your mentally insane Hockey comments.

Hercules Rockefeller said...

I am the worlds foremost expert in putting miniature football helmets on duck decoys.

Commish CH said...

LL Cool J is the prominent lip smacker in the US. And Soicer is right, he is the youngest in the 'big 4' : Donks, Nugs, Rox, Rapids.

Hercules Rockefeller said...

Any "big 4" team, not just the local four.