Friday, March 6, 2009

Ha-Ha Patrick Ramsey

First off, fuck Coach Sugar Smacks and Jay Cutler. Both of them were/are lying and/or acting like children. Fuck Sugar Smacks for thinking Cassel was a better option than Cutler. He's the only one that thinks so. Fuck Jay Cutler for (allegedly) demanding a trade after Jeremy Bates wasn't retained and for acting like a bitch about the entire thing. Quit pouting and act like a fucking man.

Now, on to the shit that matters: Transactions!

IN: Ronald Fields, DT. 5th year guy, part-time starter mired in SF for his entire career. Not much to get excited about here.

IN: Darrell Reid, DT. 5th year guy, no-time starter late of Indy. Supposedly a special teams "ace." Again, nothing exciting.

IN: Lamont Jordan, RB. Was washed up when he signed with Oakland three years ago, was washed up when he cried like a little bitch on the Denver sidelines a couple years back:

And I'm betting he's still washed-up. I look forward to openly mocking Lamont Jordan's little bitch-ass all through training camp. Because, lets face it...he's not making this fucking team.

IN: JJ Arrington, RB. The deal that almost wasn't, but then was. I'm glad this got done. JJ should be pretty good in this scheme. Oh's not the same scheme anymore. Whatever. I still like this one. A lot.

IN: Kenny Peterson, DT. One of the Donks own FA's. He's been the most consistent DT we've had over the last few years. That's not saying all, but I guess it's worth a re-up.

And finally, the best news of all. Not for the guy we signed, but for the guy wer're going to lose as a result:

IN: Chris Simms, QB. He's got ties to the Donks already: permanent, gay ties. And he doesn't have a spleen! Even if he stinks the joint out, it's ok, because it means Patrick Ramsay's terrible ass will be riding the pine somewhere else. That is a good thing.


Bird said...

Spleens are overrated....

Commish CH said...

Yo Herc, did you see your favorite player Bradlee Van Mullet is trying to make it as a Safety? Can't see why no one has brought him in.

Hercules Rockefeller said...

Ha. He makes that switch 3 years ago (like EVERYONE told him to), he's probably still in the league.


Commish CH said...

go back even further and ol' trash mouth Lubick wanted to switch him to LB and he refused. This is 2000or so.

I seriously still find it hard to believe he was our ONLY backup for a full year.