Woody Paige, everybody.

From Woody's annual, idiotic prediction column:


Predominantly orange marmalade sky?

After a close inspection of the Broncos' schedule, I think we all can agree on this:

Good luck, Josh MacDee.

Hoodie & The Bluefish will need it.

Onlookers who live in cellars and subsist on Cheetos believe the 2009 schedule of events could be the team's most difficult.

In truth, to find a schedule as stressful, you have to go way, way back to, uh, 2005.

That season the Broncos finished 13-3 and lost in the AFC championship.

So, Broncophiles, (sing along) have high hopes, Mile High hopes.

Only, things have changed since 2005.

Like almost everything.

All but five players are gone.

All but three of the draft choices from 2005 and before are gone.

All but four assistants — Rick Dennison, Bobby Turner, Keith Burns and Rich Tuten — are gone.

And the head coach.

What a difference three indifferent seasons make.

And a new head coach.

But the regular-season schedules are similar.


Does he get paid by the paragraph?

Seriously, this thing has the phrase "marmalade sky," a request that you sing along to "high hopes" and a goofball reference to a decade-old pop group.

Don't ever change, you silly bastard.