Showing posts with label crime doesn't pay. Show all posts
Showing posts with label crime doesn't pay. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Tatum Bell is misunderstood


Tatum Bell issued an incoherent response to this mornings hilarious accusations.

“I ain’t no thief, I ain’t never been one, and I ain’t never going to be one. It was all a misunderstanding. You can ask anybody I played with for all my years or anybody that know me, man. They know I ain’t never stolen nothing from nobody or had those kind of intentions."

Tatum says he was doing a favor and picking up bags for some dude that had got cut earlier and didn't know they were Johnson's.

"I didn’t have a clue. I wasn’t thinking or nothing at the time. I just grabbed the backpack and grabbed the other bag. It wasn’t in nobody’s locker or nothing like that. It was just sitting right there by the computers. … So I grabbed them and put them in the car...If you look on film, I wasn’t in no hurry or nothing. I was just going about my day. I tried to talk to Rudi yesterday, but he was pretty upset, so I let it go. So now it’s that I’m being a thief. I come to found out that the bags weren’t whose I thought they was. It was just an honest mistake, man.

But ain’t nobody saying nothing to me. They’re just stuck on the fact that I’m a thief. I’m like, ‘You all know me better than that.’ I ain’t never been in no trouble. You know what I’m saying? I ain’t never, ever, ever been in no situation like this. I’m just trying to clear my name.”


Rudi ain't buyin' that shit for a second:

The bags were at a woman’s house, and the woman brought them to Lions headquarters – empty. Johnson said he canceled his credit cards.

“I got the bags back empty. So he got a bunch of my underclothes. What he’s going to do with that, I don’t know...He left the money clip, but he didn’t leave no money in it. He should have took the clip, too...If anybody’s got some Perry Ellis boxers for sale, you know where they came from.”

Is this story better than the former wideout saga from a couple months ago? Yes. Yes it is.

Tatum Bell will jack your Samsonite


In what might be one of the goofiest stories I've ever heard, former Donk and recently waived Lion RB Tatum Bell is being accused of swiping Rudi Johnson's luggage from the Lions facility.

Awesome, right? Of course, the item is from one of that weird looking little weasel Mike Florio's "reliable sources," so it has to be taken with not a grain, but a ton of salt.

I hope it's true. I really do. The thought of Tatum Bell lifting Johnson's luggage as some childish act of revenge is frickin' sweet as hell.

Of course, after he swiped the bags and took off running, a well-placed potted fern was able to bring Tatum down for a two yard loss.

UPDATE: Kyle over at BT made a similar joke earlier this morning. His was about Bell fumbling the bags, but it's essentially the same thing. Hats off.