Friday, March 21, 2008

Mike Shanahan laughs at your pathetic residence



Feeling pretty good about your living situation? Got a nice 3 bed, 2 bath, ranch house w/ a pool and a two-car garage in a nice neighboorhood with a good school district?

Pffftttt. You might as well be living on a fuckin' street-corner, you penniless indigent. Check out Shanny's new pad:

the 34,927-square-foot home includes a bowling alley and lounge, a poker room, a video-golf room, a racquetball court and a shuffleboard table

I love how poker and video-golf each got their own separate room. By the way, my apartment is 428 sq. ft.

And that's just in the basement, where there also will be four bedrooms

Jesus.

The main level includes two studies, a gallery, a music and living room, a gathering room, a dining room, a conservatory, a kids' arcade and playroom, and two bedrooms, including a master suite with his and hers closets.

Two studies and a conservatory, you ask? Of course. Each person living in a house SHOULD have their own study. And you can't NOT have a conservatory, right?

There are six fireplaces; a 3,600-square-foot, six-car garage; a 2,150-square-foot guest house; a "wine residence" and guest house; a swimming pool; and two bridges

The wine gets it's own guest-house? Is this for when the wine throws dinner parties for liquor and beer and the guests get just a little too drunk to drive home? Did I mention that my apartment is 428 sq. ft?

Here's the worst part:

The Shanahans bought the 3.5-acre lot where they are building the home from Janet Elway for $4 million

Traitor.

4 comments:

@slushygutter said...

this for a NFL coach. The same NFl coaches known for 18 hour work days, sleeping in their office, and endless travel. That bowling alley will get plenty of use.

Giggly Bits said...

Ah yes, I've seen it all before.

Large homes purchased right after a big layoff of a loyal and reliable employee base. And the reason? That's right kids, to ensure the success of Shanahan's wallet (read: "to make the business more effective").

I once had a friend tell me that his company was laying off a number of software developers (read: nerdlinger's) that was immediately followed up by a vehicle allowance increase by over 40%, from $400 a month to $750 for senior staff. That didn't include raises and bonuses.

Hercules Rockefeller said...

you guys back in town?

Giggly Bits said...

Indeed. I was back in D yesterday at 9:45am (uber early flight). Having to work nights this week at The Blue.