Monday, October 13, 2008

Jay Cutler = Linus

Here's an angry, angry GBU from the loss to Jax that I had the distinct displeasure of viewing in person.

Michael Pittman. Fuck this running-back-by-commitee horseshit. Name a guy your primary back and give him the fucking ball 25 times a game. If he's too delicate to handle that kind of workload or he's not fast enough as an occasional "change of pace" type of back or he's not big enough to be a 3rd and 1/goal-line type of back, get his ass the fuck gone. No more splitting series between Selvin, Andre Hall and Pittman. That shit is fucking absurd. Is it any concidence that the week we ride one horse is the same week we finally have a decent running attack? I say no.

Brandon Marshall. I don't give a shit if he had 12 catches or whatever, he had a goddamn shit game yesterday. The fumble at the goal-line. The game killing drop on the last series. Zero effort on that deep ball in the third (it landed two yards in front of him and he never even put his fucking hands up). The fucking 10 yard loss on the WR screen. Seriously dickhead, just go down already. I'm sick of the juking and jiving and this guy having to protect his rep as the "hardest wideout in league to tackle." Fuck that nonsense. The potential reward does not outweigh the risk. JUST GO DOWN, ASSHOLE.

Jay Cutler. Have you ever seen a QB lock in on one receiver the way Cut locked in on Marshall yesterday? It was fucking absurd. He threw at least eight passes in Marshall's direction when he was doubled up and had no shot at a catch (and another that was batted down at the line). I know Eddie and Scheffler weren't in the line-up, but fuck me. You've got to find somewhere else to go with the ball, man. He's lucky he didn't have 6 INT's yesterday. Terrible, terrible game.

The Denver Defense. Or as I like to call them, Champ Bailey and Ten Worthless Motherfuckers. I was actually trying to defend the rush D on the way to the game (it's always only one guy out of position or one guy missing a big tackle. Larry Johnson skewed the numbers. They're not that bad, etc.) Embarrassing. It's time for someone to get fired. Remember when we imported almost all of the D-line from Cleveland and everyone made fun of us? Man, those were the good ol' days. That D-line was actually decent. This D-line? Dog. Shit.


Your momma


Phony Gwynn said...

This team is terrifically frustrating. How can the defense be that bad? How?

Bird said...

"The Denver Defense. Or as I like to call them, Champ Bailey and Ten Worthless Motherfuckers."

That made me shoot cherry coke onto my key board. Thanks Herc.

Anonymous said...

Holy crap. You guys need to calm the hell down. We are 4-2, still leading the division, and we are a young team. We will only get better as time goes on. You expect everybody to play like they're veterans or something. Calm down and take another pill dammit, we're fine. GO BRONCOS!!!

Commish CH said...

Boss Bailey- does he go down for injury attention on every other play? Seriously.

Im wondering if Shanny's constant tickering with D-Coordinators has finally reared it's ugly head?

Hercules Rockefeller said...

I know, dude. Every time someone is slow to get up and the trainers go out you don't even have to look for the number. It's Boss Bailey.