Put up or shut up, Dad.

So, Travis Henry wants to stay in Denver, eh? I don't know, but he's certainly saying all of the right things:

"I want to be a Bronco and make it all right. I don't want to be anywhere else. I owe those people something for all that happened last year. I want to clear my name there. I'm so hungry to do right there."

Great. Good answer. Now swallow your pride, take a giant pay cut and work on strengthening your core or doing yoga or whatever the hell people do to avoid injury.

I couldn't care less that you have 75 kids or that you smoke a pound of dank a day, but I do care about the fact that you've completed only one injury free season in your seven year career. If you can't stay healthy, you're worthless...whether you're making $4.5M per or the league minimum. 700 yds and a 4.1 ypc isn't going to get it done.

To be perfectly honest, unless the O-line solidifies it won't matter if it's Henry, Selvin, Andre or Hercules Rockefeller back there toting the rock. The running game will suck balls...again.

You cannot be serious!

Is this for real? I guess it is. It was published in a major newspaper after all, so I guess it has to be. That's unfortunate, because it boggles the mind and I don't need a mind boggler right after lunch.

This will be John Lynch's 4th consecutive undeserving pro-bowl nod. At this point in his career, he's nothing more than a name and apparently that's all you need. Isn't it curious that a guy that missed three games, had only 59 tackles, one sack and zero INT's is in the pro-bowl? What exactly put him over the top? Was it his telegenic features, his hot wife or his charity work? It certainly wasn't his play on the field.

Does anyone out there actually think that Lynch is still good? Am I way off base about how poorly this guy has played the last few years? I'm really really having a hard time understanding this.

Something needs to be done about how pro bowlers are decided.

Freezing my ass off

I'm finally back from my trip to scenic (ha!) and cosmopolitan (double ha!) Tucson, AZ. I came back to discover that my palatial one-bedroom apartment was without heat or hot water. It's still off - two days later. It's 18 degrees right now. It's not a good time.

So what's new in Bronco-land? Daniel Graham got his ass arrested, you say? Brilliant. That's a great way to kick off the offseason productively. At least no one got killed, I guess.

A state rep is trying to get season ticket holders the right to re-sell their ducats for whatever price they want? Who cares? They're going to do it anyway, whether they sell them through Stub-hub, craigslist or wherever. Has anyone ever gotten caught and had their tickets revoked? Of course not. I'd much rather see season ticket holders at the games than see them sell out to the highest bidder. Often the highest bidder is some ass-wipe from the city we're playing that weekend. It's the shit-head season ticket holders that sold their AFC Championship tickets to the highest bidders that allowed there to be about 20K Steelers fans in the building that day. You people should be ashamed of yourselves.

TD couldn't get past the semi's in the hall of fame voting? Duh. The bottom line w/ TD is that he didn't play long enough to get HOF consideration. I don't care that Gale Sayers is in, it's a different time and a different game. Four years (excellent years, though) just isn't enough. This should put an end to the TD in the hall talk. The good news is that Randy Gradishar and Gary Zimmerman (two much more deserving candidates) are still alive. Neither, however, is likely to get in. The HOF hates Denver's clean air (ozone? what?), it's sweeping vistas and it's football team. They're such bitches that way.

Check-ey later!

It's official. Jim Bates is Audi like 5 g's.

So long, jackass. You took a mediocre D and made it flat-out awful. Now we're stuck with some of your leftover fatso's. Thanks for that, shiteater.

Bob Slowik, the current D coordinator will now oversee the entire D. Lets see...the guy doesn't get a title bump but he gets all the responsibility and all of the spotlight. I hope the poor bastard at least got a pay raise. Good luck Bobby, you're going to need it.

No posts for the next week or so. I've got a family-related issue to attend to down Arizona way. Both of the people that read this blog are sure to be eagerly awaiting my return.

Leaving town

Quick hits on a couple of guys that are either already gone or about to be gone.

First up, Matty Lepsis. I hope I don't get crucified for this, but I was never much of a fan of Lepsis. To me it always seemed, early in his career anyway, that whenever there was a holding penalty that negated a TD or a false start penalty in a big situation, it was on #78. I know that wasn't the case, but it just seemed like it. From '99-'03, the most frequent words out of my mouth during games was "Fuckin Leper." And of course, the enduring image of Lepsis is him rolling over on TD's knee and essentially ending his career. Of course it wasn't Lepsis' fault, you could blame Grease-pit for that as much as Lepsis (he did throw the pick after all), but I cant get the image of an out-of-control #78 flopping to the ground and rolling up on TD's knee. I'm sorry, but that's how it was for me.

Anyway, he developed into a pretty decent tackle, but his play has slipped considerably over the last couple of years. He knew it, Shanny knew it, shit even an idiot like me knew it. It was time for him to hang 'em up. I'm not sad to see him go. Feel free to kill me for this in the comments.

Next up is Javon Walker. You know what? Fuck Javon Walker right in the pants. Who does this preening, dipshit fuckstick think he is? Take a look at this quote:

"I just take what's really coming, and it's not that they don't want me here, but I don't think it's the best fit for me...This isn't an offense where I agreed to come here. I never agreed to say, 'Hey, this is Javon, this is the offense I want to come to.' It had to come, the situation where it was a trade. It boils down to a point where I have to go where best fits for me. Whatever Javon's talents can be used at, I have to go where best fits for me."

Jesu fucking' Christo. Guy gets hurt the first week of the season, has to sit out 8 straight games or whatever, some newspaper hacks theorize that the team will ask him to take a pay cut next year and he responds with "I never wanted to be here in the first place"? Man, that takes some fucking balls. Personally, I think he cant stomach being second banana to Brandon Marshall. He's due a shitload of cash next year, but they're never going to pay the fucker. No one in their right mind will ever give him that kind of money again. Two significant knee injuries in three years? No thanks. Good riddance, Javon. We'll enjoy that 5th round pick we get for your ass.

At Least

It's over. Our five-month nightmare is finally over. The Broncos jumped on the Vikings yesterday, pissed away a 16 point lead w/ 5 minutes left in the game, got lucky and Elam kicked a 30 yarder in OT to win it. Sound familiar? It should...except for the winning part of course.

It's time to fire off the "At Least" list:

At least I was personally 4-0 this year at Donk games. That's right, I saw a full 67% of the teams wins this year live and in person.
At least I was able to get my car back last night after it got towed from 19th and Grove. Do not park west of Federal near the stadium w/out a forged resident permit.
At least I bought a sweet-ass Elway Stanford jersey yesterday
At least we swept KC
At least we didn't get swept by the NFC North
At least we didn't finish w/ double digit losses
At least we beat two playoff teams
At least Cutler, Brandon Marshall and Elvis had decent seasons
At least DJ Williams improved significantly
At least Travis Henry only knocked-up one woman this season, down from his previous low of four
At least Sauerbrun is gone for good....maybe
At least Jim Bates will get fired....maybe
At least John Lynch will retire...maybe
At least we scored against SD
At least we played decent (for a little while anyway) against Indy
At least we found another pretty good undrafted free agent RB

Football, you're dead to me now. Fuck the Pats, Colts, Chargers, Steelers, Jags and Titans. Fuck the Cowboys, Packers, Seahawks, Bucs, Giants and Skins. Fuck all their fans, too. Especially those in Boston and Shitsburgh. I don't give a rat-fuck about any team that isn't my own. I might watch the AFC Championship (the Pats losing to Indy would be delicious) and the SB, but that's about it.

I'll have a best-of, worst-of list up sometime this week.

Happy New Year and GO NUGGETS!

Lets get this fucker over with already

The Broncos suck fat balls. They have no pride, no heart, no courage, no cojones, no nothing. They're two lucky-ass field goals away from being 4-11 right now. An utter joke. A complete fraud. They suck, and how.

I'm still going to the game next week. I'll be the drunk asshole that tosses a D-cell battery covered in snow at Purple Jesus' eyes. I'm going to be famous. Lee Harvey famous! There's nothing left to lose.

7-9 or 6-10? Does it matter? Nope, but I'd like to see something positive out of these motherfuckers. You let the Chargers beat you by a combined 64-6. The fucking Chargers. Show some heart you pathetic, bitch-ass, pantywaist clowns!