Denver Broncos Football Rules!

Nothing's happening. Gotta move the obits down the page, though. Maybe I'll put some vids up or something later this week right now.

Here's a pretty cool shot from the last time there was any real reason to celebrate Denver Broncos football. It still rules, though! Never forget, chumps.



If you look close, you won't see me. I was there somewhere, though.

This is now a celebrity obituaries blog

RIP, freakshow.

Sux

RIP

Huh? What? Smart decisions? From this franchise?

IN: Casey Wiegmann, C


The best FA pick-up last offseason. He was going into the last year of his contract and wanted some additional security as his career winds down. Here's how an adult goes about getting a new deal:

1) Don't beat on your lady friends.
2) Don't go on nationally televised shows and poorly defend your beating on lady friends.
3) Come to the OTA's and minicamps.
4) Act like a fucking professional.

OUT: Boss Bailey, LB



The worst FA pick-up of last season. The Boss of No Bosses. Guy couldn't stay on the field. He got a lot of guaranteed money, so this was an expensive mistake.

Also OUT: Phony Gwynn.

Shocker!

Marshall wants out:

This guy goes from "I'm not holding out" to "I want out" in like two weeks. I say let him go. You cannot give him a huge fucking contact with all of the nonsense hanging over his head.

The Donks have other ideas:

"We met after Pat's meeting with Brandon and are going to continue our dialogue with Brandon and his representative," said Broncos coach Josh McDaniels. "We look forward to having Brandon at training camp."

Translation: Fuck off. Keep holding out. Which doesn't make sense. If you stick to your guns and don't pay him and he doesn't get suspended and he holds out until week 7 or whenever it is that you have to report or it doesn't count as a full season contractually, there's no way he re-signs with us next offseason. And you get nothing for him.

This "I'm gonna show everyone who's the fucking boss around here" routine already cost us the best thing this team had going for it. No, get a first and a third for this giant fucking headache now and hope Coach Dipshit doesn't trade them for some magic beans or something.

I hear Jabar Gaffney's awesome anyway.

Best available option

From this:


Hi, laides. I'm Jay. I'm an Aquarius, I work out regularly and I enjoy long walks on the beach.

To this:


Huzzuwah? bluuhhh?


HT to BT for the Cutler glamour shot

Guess who didn't show for the first mandatory mini...

The holdout has begun.

Again, I don't get this. There's no way in hell this clown is getting a new deal. Especially not after that on-camera abortion on Outside the Lines a couple of weeks ago.

Also, his misdemeanor trial in GA was pushed back to August, meaning there won't be any confirmation that he won't be suspended (if he's acquitted) until at least two weeks into training-camp.

And what exactly has happened this offseason that would indicate to Marshall or his reps that Coach Pyle would be willing to acquiesce to a petulant "me, me, me" player in any way?

Suck it up, finish out your deal and then move the fuck on out next March. Maybe you and former QB, uniform #6 can reunite in the windy shitty.

Ugh

In what is fast becoming an awful, awful trend, the Donks are joining the ranks of those selling fucking ad space on their practice jerseys.

Lame-o. How much money are they going to make off of this anyway? Who sees anyone's practice jerseys except the local media outlets? If I was a marketing guy, I wouldn't even offer six-figures to get my logo on someone's practice jersey. Talk about a drop in the bucket. Bowlen could raise that by auctioning off one of his old furs.

There is good news about the Broncos whoring for cash, though:

What's new this year is NFL teams can also put their logos on lottery tickets. Eventually, those Colorado scratch-ticket winners may have to first rub off a series of Broncos helmets or logos.

You gotta play to win, people.

Sux - UPDATE

Another total bad-ass bites the dust. RIP.

UPDATE: Jerk off like a regular dude, people.

More Marshall

He's not going to be suspended by the league for the incident with his girlfriend earlier this year.

This is great news. Unitl you consider that he's going on trial in GA later this month for the incident with his ex-girlfriend last season. What happens if he's found guilty?

"The pending case will be subject to review when appropriate," NFL spokesman Greg Aiello said. "The notification he received from our office applied only to the March 1 incident."

Awesome. More suspension drama. Also, he's about due for another police run-in. My money is on an armored-car robbery.

I'm really getting sick of this guy. Here's hoping he signs somewhere else the first chance he gets.

Marshall on OTL: Bitch punched herself in the eye!

Only Bob Ley came away from that disaster looking good.